Why Can't He Love Me?

In today's fast paced world, your longing for a rich, fulfilling relationship does not diminish. You feel that the dream of love is something you are going to find in someone else. This person whom you haven't even met yet will somehow fill you up and make you feel complete again. Society has conditioned us to believe we need to search for answers outside of ourselves. But is this really how it works?

I tried searching outside of myself for the love I desired for years. I kept looking to the next charming guy that came along and played the role of the person he wanted me to be. I always felt like I could not be myself for fear he would leave and take the love I sought with him. After twisting myself into a pretzel for him, I kept asking myself, "Why can't he love me?"

In truth, the love was not there to begin with. I had not learned to love myself and find out what the unconscious pieces of me were to even know who I was. Unconsciously, you always match up with someone who is at the same level of consciousness you are, like puzzle pieces. If you find yourself with someone who keeps distancing himself from a relationship, then there is a piece of you unconsciously that also does not want to be close to someone. You both share a fear of intimacy. This may sound crazy to your conscious mind, but the outside world reflects the emotions you feel inside. If you find yourself not in a love relationship, yet you tell yourself everyday that you want one, at an unconsicious level you do not feel safe to be in one. Resloving this unconscious reason, and working with your unconscious will help to free your mind. When you are free to make a choice you will find yourself being attracted to someone who wants exactly what you want: a healthy long term committed relationship. Unconscious minds that are alike will be drawn to each other. If you want an ideal relationship, all you have to do is fix your piece of the puzzle and the other half will fall into place. We are more powerful than we realize and once you learn about your own unconscious mind then your reality will change accordingly.

Those that choose to believe that the fault is in the other person will find themselves repeating the pattern of unfulfilled love with one guy after the next, or even the same person on and off again. The distance is maintained in which both of you are comfortable. You keep picking men who do not want to be close because of an unconscious desire within you. The gap will never close until you figure out why you are afraid of intimacy. If you feel like time is running out for love, take a deep breath and take the time to figure out why your unconcious mind is afraid of being close to someone.

If you are staying with a man who unconsciously does not want to be in a close relationship, you will keep hoping he will change. You may find yourself dealing with a lot of drama, disappointment and frustration in dating and relationships. You cannot change someone else's unconscious patterns. To do this is futile and will result in pain for you. Stop trying to make him fit your desires. In truth, what needs to change is your unconscious pattern that attracted you to the person in the first place. What does this look like? A girl tells you the guy she met, and is now about to marry, is not at all her usual type. What she really means is that her unconscious pattern that did not feel safe being in a relationship finally shifted so that she was attracted to a guy that does fulfill her relationship desires. Are you willing to look at your unconscious mind to change your reality in relationships?

True love does not require someone to change for you. The right man will always like you and you won't have to work to make him feel that way. It also won't feel like a constant push and pull between you and him. You may have been with the guy who seems wonderful and promising one day, but then abruptly disappears for a week with no communication. True love is constant and keeps the connection alive. It does not want to cut if off. If you are noticing a pattern of you feeling alone, he's pushing you away to keep you at a distance that is comfortable for him. Your challenge is to to learn how to observe this behavior and treat it as a clue. As an investigator into the deep unconcious of your mind, you start to see your unconscious pattern of selecting guys who are unavailable to you. Why would you do this? Unconsciously, you are afraid of intimacy too. A committed relationship is at odds with both of your unconscious desires.

When you find the one, you will notice feeling lighter and able to enjoy the ease of the connection because YOU ARE NO LONGER TRYING TO MAKE HIM GET CLOSER TO YOU. In truth, you wouldn't want someone who doesn't want to be with you. Staying with someone who doesn't want to be close to you only makes you feel unwanted and constantly question what is wrong with you. The longer you stay with him, the worse you will feel about yourself -- opening the door for the thought "What is wrong with me?" to creep in. The quicker you let him go, the sooner you can get back on track to finding your true love

True love can only exist when two people do not have an unconscious fear of being in a relationship. As the saying goes, "It takes two to tango." All the hours of exhaustive worrying, strategizing, and analyzing falls away because it is uneccessary. True love doesn't feel difficult or lonely. True love feels like home. Both of you will naturally desire to want to be with each other.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. Your unconcious desires are just at odds with what you want consciously, so you experience the push and pull of the relationship. Discovering the reason you fear relationships will be a key ingredient to setting you free of this pattern. Get started so you can transform your life!