As a little girl, I daydreamed often that one day a hero would come and rescue me from the deep pain and trauma that dominated my childhood. It was my own version of a fairytale, my hope to wake up one day to find someone entering my life who would rescue me from the life of struggle I had always known.   After 30 years of searching, I came up with some more life experience, but was nowhere close to finding that someone.  I was still getting painful results trying to make relationships work with men who were not interested in a relationship, despite saying they liked me and were attracted to me.  Essentially no matter what I tried I still was attracted to unavailable men, who used my emotional vulnerabilities against me.  I tried reading dating books,  learning from dating blogs I had researched on the internet, but countless dates later, I grew frustrated and almost felt like giving up on any semblance of a healthy relationship for myself.  It just felt like something that happened in someone else's life, not mine.  What was it that I was missing?  Surely, there had to be something that could explain my results...I got some clues from self-improvement books, then more from psychology of relationship books (on both unhealthy and healthy relationships ) and literature on growing up in dysfunctional families.  Ultimately, the work I studied on Carl Jung Psychology led me to more answers through his work on the human mind and teachings from eastern wisdom to learn who I was at a much deeper level.  This work led to many answers in my past that I had completely overlooked or was blindly unaware of until with the help of a coach I was able to see what I had been doing to give myself the results I did not consciously want.  At the age of 42, after countless dates with relationship avoidant men, many tearful breakups, and so many self-sessions of looking in the mirror and asking "What's wrong with me? Why can't I find someone who really wants to be with me?", I finally met the man who appreciates me. Being with him helped me to see that I was not the person the childhood stories in my mind had always convinced myself I was. Being able to appreciate and be attracted to this man was the result of me stepping outside of my old emotional patterns and beginning to create new ones. When I first met him, I would pinch him and ask him "Are you real?" because I just could not fully believe it yet. Today he is my helper, my hero, my husband. I am living a life in my 50's I never thought possible for myself for so many, many years.

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What am I learning about my life? I am realizing that to create the life I really want I need to look within myself for the answers instead of waiting for someone from the external world to save me from my current life situation.  You want to live the life that you consciously create, not the life created by past emotional ties that will unconsciously pull you toward unhappy endings. Are you curious to learn how to consciously create your love life rather than to let life dictate it to you unconsciously?  If you are, and you are ready to learn, then you are in the right place. Start by checking out my free resources for guidance and inspiration. If you are ready to find out where your journey will take you and want a tour guide, click on the Free SELF Discovery Session button and let's find out together!